Slate advice column Dear Prudence (which really is the prudest internet advice column) fielded a titillating question of dubious veracity today, from a gay man in a committed sexual relationship with his twin brother. Could this letter possibly be real? Let's discuss.
First, the twincestuous letter:
My fraternal twin and I (both men) are in our late 30s. We were always extremely close and shared a bedroom growing up. When we were 12 we gradually started experimenting sexually with each other. After a couple of years, we realized we had fallen in love. Of course we felt guilty and ashamed, and we didn't dare tell anyone what we were doing. We hoped it was "just a phase" that we'd grow out of, but we wound up sleeping together until we left for college. We knew this could ruin our lives, so we made a pact to end it. We attended schools far apart and limited our contact to family holidays. But we never fell out of love with each other, so after graduation we moved in together and have been living very discreetly as a monogamous couple ever since. I'm not writing to you to pass moral judgment on our relationship—we're at peace and very happy. Our dilemma is how to deal with our increasingly nosy family and friends. They know we're gay, and we live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, so we're getting pressure to settle down. I feel we should continue being discreet for the rest of our lives and blow off their questions. It's nobody's business, and I fear they would find our relationship shocking and disgusting. My brother, though, is exhausted with this charade. He thinks that if we get the family together with a therapist to talk through the issues, they'll eventually accept it. I think he's out of his mind, but I also want to make him happy. Is this one of those times when honesty is not the best policy? If so, how do we get everyone to stop worrying we will die alone? I'm also concerned about the legal implications of this—would the therapist be required to report us to the authorities? Could we go to prison?
—Tired of This Greek Tragicomedy
Initial reaction: Bullshit. Bull. Shit. Bull. Bull. Shit. Shit.
Whereas girl-on-girl twincest is a recurring theme in straight male threeway fantasies (and for some reason never grosses people out as much as it should) guy-on-guy twincest is a newly booming trope in gay porn. The most famous twincest stars are the Peter twins (NSFW), who claim they were already living together and fucking regularly when eastern European porn studio Bel Ami found them. Brazil's Patriota twins don't penetrate each other, but do have romantic naked-rolling-around sessions. (NSFW) Another porn studio somehow wrangled an orgy between a set of twins and a set of triplets (NSFW) but gay porn aficionado Brian Moylan tells me there are rumors that the triplets are actually just twins, plus a rando lookalike.
Though the proliferation of male twincest pornos is evidence gay male twins do, occasionally, fuck (when money is involved) I'd say the relevant lesson is that a lot of people fantasize about gay male twins fucking. Fantasize, and write long, detailed letters to internet advice columnists, likely with an exhibitionist desire to share said letter with the world. What are the chances that a pair of gay male twins actually fell in love, decided to live together in a twincest love nest, and also happen to be fans of an advice column that specializes in wedding manners and in-laws? No offense, Dear Prudence, but I'm just not sure that one-in-a-million twincest couple would prefer your advice to, say, Cary Tennis.
In other words, Dear Prudence columnist Emily, you are probably part of some exhibitionist twincest aficionado's masturbatory fantasy, now.
The only reason I see for this letter maybe, possibly being real: The "fraternal" detail, which sounds like something you'd say to justify something you know is wrong, and also seems to violate twincest porn norms. Also, I guess some people are just freaks.
For the record Prudie's solution is for the twincestuous brothers to give their family "a limited version of the truth… tell them that while it may seen unorthodox, you both realized that living together is what works for you." If this couple exists, I admit that is the right advice.