A 52 year old man was arrested in Madison for strolling into a restaurant, announcing he was the new general manager, and whipping himself up a little dinner.
The evening began when James Summers, clad in a black trenchcoat and maroon tie, walked into the back office of a local Denny's. He introduced himself to employees as their new boss and announced to the manager on duty that he would be starting work immediately.
When the manager called his bluff, Summers retorted that his decision was final; he would start work that evening.
He then left for the kitchen, where he prepared himself a cheeseburger with fries and—go big or go home—helped himself to a complimentary soda. While Summers was getting his Top Chef on, the manager called corporate and, shortly thereafter, police.
As part of this master class in staying in character, Summers stuck to his story even as police confronted him in the parking lot.
Things fell apart during questioning back inside the restaurant, however, when cops found a stun gun in a hip holster under his trench coat. When asked if he had a permit to carry a concealed weapon, Summers replied "It's in the pipeline."
His briefcase was found to contain multiple crack pipes.
The police report, which, as the NPR news blog points out, is rich with detail and colorful turns of phrase—well worth a read—states that Summers was cooperative until the very last, even framing the debacle as a parable for restaurant patrons:
"As he was about to be led from the restaurant, [Summers] yelled out to those eating: 'This is why you don't dine and dash kiddies."
Just another well-dressed crackhead, imparting life lessons all over the place.
[Image via Getty]