Finally, the members of the greatest sociological experiment of our time forage for their own food, and they promptly caught crabs. No, the actual crustaceans. They did not contract a horrible case of pubic lice, though they did make lots of jokes about it. The guidos never change.
Yes, they all caught crabs last night and everyone tittered about it as if their hunting was really an infestation. The reason the joke is funny is because it is sort of a foregone conclusion and just the easiest form of double entendre. Too easy, guidos. It was all too easy. While we're discussing language, let's look at our new vocabulary word for the week.
- Eyebeam: The look that a stalker gives its prey. It is a deep and intense connection with the eyes on their object of obsession that tires to simultaneously draw its target in and destroy it at the same time. It is said that the initial eyebeam came from the Duck Phone every time it quacked, and that is how it lured the guidos under its thrall.
Speaking of catching crabs, the most amusing part of the guido's fishing trip to the dock was of course the "meatballs's" attempt to row row row their boats gently with a scream. First the wind wasn't cooperating and the large, flat, inflatable raft kept sending Snooki and Deena flying and spinning around like one of those helicopter seeds that fall off the trees and go careening toward the ground.
It is well known that the guidos have a very difficult time using simple machinery (there was a whole montage last night reminding us of their problems with grills and fires) and it seems that oars and boats are further examples of those simple machines they just can't operate. Snooki and Deena kept rowing at cross purposes, trying to make themselves go forward but just spinning around in circles with their joint ineptitude instead. Lo, if there ever was a metaphor for their very existence, this is it.
Then things go from silly to perilous, as the meatballs lose control of their craft (another metaphor), get trapped under a dock (that could be a metaphor) and are dangerously buffeted about by the wind with no rudder, no course, and no purpose (definitely a metaphor). Then the boat starts to sink, Deena starts to go crazy because she thinks there are sharks, and the whole thing seems hopelessly perilous. That is until Snooki jumps out of the boat and we realize that they are only in about two feet of water and they could have walked themselves ashore the whole time. That's so like the guidos. Just when you think it's bad, you realize there is no drama at all.
