Just because Netflix users aren't professional film critics doesn't mean they don't have strong opinions. Some Netflix reviews are, in fact, insightful, cogent, and sharply composed — but who wants to read those? In honor of the 2012 Academy Awards on Sunday, here are the best of the worst Netflix reviews of the 10 Best Picture nominees.
The Artist (average 4.1 stars): "I kind of got dragged along with friends to see this movie... I don't have an interest in silent movies or anything like that. The movie was cute, but honestly it was way way way too long for a quirky art piece like this. I can easily watch 5 hours of normal movies, but the hour and 40 minutes that this was, seriously seemed like 4 hours to me."
The Descendants (average 3.9 stars): "That's a pretty crazy family, to say the least. I think there were too many close-ups with a dying woman. She's in bed with tubes attached and her husband and a daughter are very angry with her. So, she had a lover, so what? It was a pretty morbid movie. Don't watch it."
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (average 3.7 stars): "Tom Hanks is just a big puff of wind these days. And that kid! Just swell. Hopefully you can imagine the kind of non-cynical, deeply-emotional sort that likes this kind of thing and stay far, far away from them. If your girlfriend makes you go: date rape her."
The Help (average 4.3 stars): "The whole racist thing about not using the same bathrooms as blacks because the carried different diseases than whites do, p*ss*d me off. I don't care if idiots really did talk like that back in the day, it is stupid! The movie made me want to fall asleep. Borrringgggggggggg YAWN!!!"
Hugo (average 4 stars): "The worst part for me was that the lead actor (the boy) was personally off putting to me. The feeling I had was similar the one I get during an interview with a 4 year old beauty pageant contestant. My wife characterized him as 'creepy.' I wouldn't go that far. I though his acting was quite good."
Midnight in Paris (average 3.8 stars): "I have no idea how anyone with a brain would give this movie more than a one star rating. I ordered it because a golfing friend said it was good. It was slow and boring and if you have problems sleeping then by all means watch this movie. I saw my first Allen movie in 74 and hated it. The little pervert has not improved at all over the years."
Moneyball (average 3.9 stars): "I am not much of a Baseball fan or a sporty person, but have enjoyed sports films in the past. This movie did not make you feel warm and fuzzy at the end as a good sports film should. It made me feel bored. I had no idea whether Brad Pitt's character was happy or upset in each scene."
The Tree of Life (average 2.6 stars): "My wife quit watching 20 minutes into the movie preferring to play Words with Friends on her I-pad. I toughed it out hoping that it would get better and it finally did...it ended. I actually put a post it note on the case when I returned it saying it was the worst movie I've ever received from this film service which apparently is not permitted to be named in the reviews."
War Horse (average 3.8 stars): "This is a horse movie with horses about horses, starring horses. If that sounds appealing, you already knew you will love this movie, so go watch it. If it doesn't... well, the horse-wife will, so watch it anyways, because you will probably be getting some tonight. Almost every scene in this movie has a horse in it, or a drawing of a horse, or they are talking about horses."