Now that teen smoking rates are in decline and rap music has been throughly mainstreamed, the only thing to worry about re: America's Children is whether the internet and smartphones are turning their brains into piles of frozen yogurt. Internet experts say: Maybe!

The Pew Center for Asking People What They Think About the Internet surveyed 1,021 "internet experts and other internet users" on whether they believed non-stop internet use will turn teens into cyberpunk wizards with a perfect command of all world knowledge, or slug-like proto-humans whose most complex possible thought is a series of <emoji. (Seriously, those were the only two options.)

Internet experts were in the most part optimistic: 55% of respondents said that teens' mental abilities are being positively influenced by the internet. 43% feared they were becoming too distracted to hold a deep thought. Then the internet experts closed the window in which they responded to the questionnaire and resumed their five-hour internet porn marathon.

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[Photo of the amazing Tweeting Teen, Taylor Smith, via AP]