Dutch Killing Squads Will Make Housecalls If You Ask Nicely

A Dutch group called the Levenseindekliniek (Life-End Clinic) announced plans to roll out a mobile euthanasia team starting this week.

The clinic will consist of specially-trained doctors and nurses who will work part-time assisting with voluntary euthanasia in private homes all over the Netherlands, according to Walburg de Jong, a spokeswoman for the Right to Die-NL society (NVVE, in Dutch).

The service, de Jong explained, is intended to aid those patients who qualify for euthanasia under Netherlands Law, but whose doctors are unwilling to carry out the act.

In case you live in the Netherlands and are looking to die, this is how to qualify:

1. You must face a future of unbearable, interminable suffering.
2. You and your doctor must agree that there is no cure for what ails you.
3. Your doctor must verify both of the above with at least one other independent physician.
4. You must be mentally alert (get off Facebook, please, this is serious) when making your request for euthanasia.
5. Your request must be voluntary and persist over time.
6. Your case must be reported to one of five special commissions, each consisting of a doctor, a jurist, and an ethical expert, who must verify that criteria 1-5 have been observed.

Also, if you're under 16, you're going to have to ask your mom and dad to okay it, which could get awkward.

The NVVE says it expects its teams to receive around 1,000 assisted suicide requests per year. 70 potential patients have contacted the organization requesting a visit from the Life-End Clinic since the plan was announced in early Feburary.

The mobile euthanasia plan was approved in the Dutch parliament by Minister of Health Edith Schippers.

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