Live Blogging Project Runway All Stars, Week 9

Ciao, chatter-nistas! Ready to chat about the stuff that really matters in life? No? Excellent! Then I'm sure you'll want to chatter about matters that don't matter instead—like the matter-free happenings on the latest episode of Project Runway All Stars. We're live-blogging the show in the comments, so why not join us?

Here's how to participate in this prattle-party, if you haven't previously: Just settle down in front of your TV with your laptop or keyboard handy, start watching tonight's episode (which airs at 9 pm Eastern on Lifetime), and post witty quips and observations about the show in the comments section below. To get an idea of just how witty such quips and observations can be, check out this collection of all-star commentary from last week's live blog.

Before tonight's party gets started, I want to take a moment to update the "HippityScore" rankings I created at the beginning of the season with the latest info on the designers have actually performed so far—mainly because this always fun fodder for live-blog discussion, but also because I'm just annoying geeky about stuff like this. The HippityScore ratings—the numbers in parentheses in the list below—measure how the designers performed in their original seasons, using formula I invented that considers factors like first-place, top-three and bottom-three finishes. Next to each, I've added up-to-date information on how they've fared so far in this "All Star" season in terms of challenge wins and eliminations:

  • Mondo (1.50)—three wins
  • Jerell (0.85)—one win
  • Kenley (0.71)—no wins
  • Rami (0.50)—one win, eliminated
  • Austin (0.44)—one win
  • Michael (0.31)—two wins
  • Mila (0.29)—eliminated
  • Anthony (0.25)—eliminated
  • April (0.25)—eliminated
  • Gordana (0.25)—eliminated
  • Kara (0.00)—eliminated
  • Sweet P (-0.09)—eliminated
  • Elisa (-0.33)—eliminated

Two things are striking here, I think. First, all seven designers who were the (relatively) weakest prior-season performers have already been given the boot, while all the higher-ranked ones (with the lone exception of Rami) are still alive. My guess is that this is probably due to two things: (1) sucky designers tend to suck, and (2) the judges for this show probably started the season with strong perceptions of which designers were superior in past seasons, and have been consciously weeding out the weaker ones in their judging decisions so far. The other thing worth noting is that, if this pattern holds, we can expect to see a Mondo, Jerell and Kenley in the final three—except that I actually doubt that, because I don't see how Jerell could possibly survive that that long. No matter how good he may have been in his first season, Jarell's stuff has been so god-awful lately that I think he may have blown a "taste gasket" in his brain.

OK, I think I've bored everyone enough with all that number stuff. It's time to look at what's in store on tonight's episode:

  • The challenge will involve using some kind of special "light technology" to create looks that contain illuminated elements. The stuff I saw in the promo looked like rejected costume designs from the latest TRON movie.
  • Words used by the judges to describe the looks tonight will include "insect," "teletubby" and "grandma" – three nouns that I highly doubt were being used in the context of praise or compliments.
  • The guest judge will be Pharell Williams, who Wikipedia tells me is a "rapper, singer, record producer, composer and fashion designer" – which is a lot of "–ers." Maybe he's a butcher, baker and candlestick maker too? It wouldn't surprise me.

OK, gang—it's almost time for tonight's matter-free prattle-fest to get underway, because it's nearly 9 pm. I'll see you down in the comments!