Which Actor Had a Hilarious Altercation with the Cops?

This comedian got out of a speeding ticket by making a rather funny joke at the cop's expense. This actress was abused as a child and now likes when her boyfriends get rough. That's no laughing matter.

1. "This well-known funny actor is known to enjoy a drink or two over the course of an evening. While driving home (sober) after a recent dinner in Southern California, however, he was pulled over for speeding. The officer walked up to the driver's side and asked the actor for his license and registration. The actor put on his trademark smile and asked the officer "Don't you recognize me?" The officer replied, "Yes. Now show me you license and registration anyway, Funny Man." Uh oh. This did not bode well for our actor. He produced the documents, but continued to smile and engage the officer in conversation, hoping that he could establish a rapport and avoid a ticket. The officer looked at the documents and then looked at the actor.
"Have you been drinking tonight, Sir?"
"No. Why?"
"Because your eyes look a little red."
The actor couldn't resist asking a question in return.
"Officer, have you been eating donuts tonight?"
The officer, visibly annoyed, said "No. Why?"
"Because your eyes look a little glazed."
The officer stared at the actor for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. The actor got off with a warning, and the officer went home with a good celebrity story to tell." [Blind Gossip]

2. "This former B list television actress who was on a really big hit network show just a couple of years ago now just seems to float mindlessly and flit between boyfriends. She comes from a broken home and abusive home. Her dad used to beat her and get into bed with her. Her mom just let it happen because she was being beaten herself and did not want to provoke. Well, now the actress who is still very young only seems to date boyfriends who are abusive and willing to hit her. Her last boyfriend (former A list athlete with B list name recognition) was so scared that he would kill her he broke up with her. Her new celebrity boyfriend does not punch nearly as hard but seems to love it. Probably getting out his anger because he is closeted." [CDaN]