When Corporate SEO Consultants Attack, RidiculouslyS

When a blogger writes a blog post about something, that blogger will often put a "link" in the blog post that "links" to a related page on the internet. This is just part of blogging. Works pretty well. Until a massive corporation decides to actively get involved. Then, it becomes amusing.

Pop Fizz Daily is a small Minnesota website that tells readers "what is bubbling up in the Twin Cities." Macy's is a retail corporation worth more than $15 billion. Rosetta is an online consulting firm hired by Macy's to, I guess, help them with niggling issues that don't matter. Put all these things together and you get: Hilarious and Completely Unnecessary Email Demands From Large Corporate Consulting Firms to Small Internet Writers. Such as (bolding ours):

From: [Rosetta SEO Associate]
Date: March 5, 2012 12:38:59 PM CST
To: [Pop Fizz Daily Blogger]
Subject: Action Required - Incorrect Link to Macys.com

Hi Gavin,

I'm contacting you on behalf of Macy's, Inc. We completed a recent analysis that indicates your blog is linking to Macys.com, which we greatly appreciate. We are recommending you make updates to the hyperlink text and destination URL. Providing clearer anchor text and linking to the relevant product category will give your visitors a better user experience.

Page: http://www.popfizzdaily.com/index.php?thedate=2011-06-24

Current URL: http://www1.macys.com/index.ognc
Recommended URL: http://www.macys.com/
Current Anchor Text: Macy's
Recommended Anchor Text: Macy's Clothing Store

Please respond at your earliest convenience, so we can discuss the changes. We appreciate your help!

Thank you,

Lara

We are contacting you on behalf of macys.com. If you would rather not receive emails regarding your blog postings from Macy's, please unsubscribe here by responding to this email.

When Corporate SEO Consultants Attack, RidiculouslyS

The post they are referring to is more than eight months old. NOBODY IS LOOKING AT IT ANY MORE, MACY'S CONSULTANTS. YOU ARE WASTING THE MACY'S CORPORATION'S MONEY BIG TIME OKAY.

Recommended Anchor Text: Fuck off.

[Photo: AP]