WNBC has decided not to renew longtime anchor Sue Simmons' contract, probably because she is at 68 an old lady — they are of course renewing her co-anchor Chuck Scarborough's contract, but he is at 68 distinguished — and will scare all the youths away from the television. Which is silly, because Sue Scarborough screaming "the fuck are you doing?" at someone (something? a boat?) during a live broadcast a few years ago was more or less the last time I had any interest in WNBC's local news programming.
In any event: if you, like us, will miss Sue, why not take her with you? In the form of a ringtone, we mean. I've created an iPhone ringtone file that you can download below; those of you with... Nokias? Or whatever else there is? Can download the MP3 from this SoundCloud embed and do whatever obscure ritual you need to put it on your phone.