It's been a long season full of chefs who couldn't seem to stop bullying, bitching, bleeding, crying, saying smutty things, and even getting naked. And on tonight's reunion show, they'll get a chance to cry, bully, bitch, bleed, undress or talk dirty for us on last time—and we'll get one last chance to live-blog it all in the comments. Join us!
But be careful not to join too late, because the show starts sooner than Top Chef usually does—at 9 pm instead of 10. Bravo's apparently trying to trick viewers into missing the show by airing it an hour early—but we won't fall for that, will we? No sir! We're live bloggers, damn it! We're on the ball! Our motto is: Always remember where you left your drink and what time the show starts.
So, while many of you start preparing your drinks and committing their locations to memory, I'll take a moment to prepare you for what's in store tonight, based on the preview clips I saw and the pattern of past reunion specials: All 15 cheftestants will sit around in a big, awkward group while being forced to answer questions and watch clip montages designed to make them squirm in embarrassment—all the while being silently judged and smirked at by smirky judges like Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio. For example, Sarah and Heather will have to sit through a "bitch montage" showing their most memorably nasty moments from the season—after which host Andy Cohen will probably ask them questions like "Why were you such total bitches?" and "Did you know how much everyone hated you?"
Also, don't be surprised if Andy teases Ty-Lör about his habit of posing for or (NSFW) full-monty photo shoots, or if we see a montage of Grayson's awkwardly smutty utterings like "sex in the mouth" and "jam out with our clams out." I'd also love to see an "Ed Lee's jaw wobbling while he talks" montage, but sadly, that one probably isn't in the cards. We'll just have to relive Ed's best wobbly-jawed moments in our own memories.
Speaking of memory, I just remembered three quick things I want to share before we get started tonight:
First, I've compiled a final collection of commenting highlights from our live blog of the season finale—which ended with us gratefully cheering a Paul win, after most of us were tricked into expecting an unwelcome Sarah triumph due to clever editing misdirection. Those sneaky little Magical Elves! Wicked, trickssy elves-es!
Second, I've decided to make good on my long-standing threat to schedule a New York meetup for commenters who participate in these Top Chef and Project Runway live blogs on Gawker, so I've finally picked a time and place for one: Friday, March 23rd , 7 to 10 pm at the Westside Tavern at 360 West 23rd St. I'll be there, and I hope to see some of you there, too!
Finally, I want y'all to know what an honor it's been for me to host another season of live-blogging with such witty and wonderful folks. I love you guys, and I hope we get a chance to do this again sometime soon.
Ok, it's nearly 9—time to head down in the comments section and get this reunion chat started. Now, where did I put that drink…?