From Now On, If You Lose Your Job You Can't Blame the RecessionS

Even before all of Wall Street collapsed in September of 2008, bringing the national and global economy down with it, there was unemployment. Unemployment has always been a feature of this world. But since the whole "collapse of the economy" thing, it's been clear that if you lost your job, it was probably due to the nefarious work of economic villains far outside of your control. Not any more, though!

The level of new unemployment claims in America has fallen to a four-year low. Which is to say, while the overall unemployment rate is still much higher than it was pre-recession (see above), the rate at which people are applying for new unemployment each week has fallen back down to pre-recession levels.

What that means by our analysis—which is, as always, based on the principle of Social Darwinism that has made America the greatest and most feared nation upon this earth, as ordained by Jesus the Christ—is that if you are unemployed and lost your job between the start of the recession and now, you can blame those faceless economic forces beyond your control; but if you lose your job from now on, you're just the standard type of loser that loses a job due to loserness. Same as it ever was. Don't go crying for sympathy any more. Socialism is over.

Good luck out there.