Invisible Children, the nonprofit behind the KONY 2012 campaign, has asked supporters to spend April 20 raising awareness of the crimes of Ugandan militia leader and horrible person Joseph Kony. But how can you raise awareness? How about with one of the many KONY 2012 knockoffs available on Cafepress, Etsy and deviantART? Here's a lovingly curated selection:
"Share a surprise message with someone special ... later," the Kony Come at Me Bro Classic Thong description reads. Is the someone special your significant other? Or Joseph Kony, to whom the message is clearly directed? The product description refuses to clarify: "Panty-minimalists love our Kony Come at Me Bro Classic Thong casual Kony Come at Me Bro Classic Thong that covers sweet spots without covering your Kony Come at Me Bro Classic Thong assets."
"Here's a great gift for Valentine's Day, baby showers, birthdays, get well-wishes, a pair of wedding Kony Ate My Baby Teddy Bears, or any reason you dream up," we're told — so get your Valentine's Day 2013 shopping in early with this terrific (and humorous!) teddy bear. "Just grin and Kony Ate My Baby Teddy Bear it!" You said it, Kony Ate My Baby Teddy Bear product description.
$4.56 for 24 cards, Cafepress
What better way to impress business associates and new acquaintances than with these classy business cards? "Make a lasting impression," the Cafepress page urges us — and you certainly will with these. If the business cards aren't enough, check out the " Stop Kony FB I like this bracelets, bumper stickers, organic, infant, & baby shirts, mugs, shot & drinking glasses, hoodies and more at store.realproductivelife.com."
$1.99 for 5"x5" print, deviantART
If you don't know who Joseph Kony is, #WeidKevand27 is happy to explain. "Joseph Kony is a man who had kidnapped many kids in Uganda and turned them into sex slaves or kid soldiers!" he writes [sic'd ]. "It doesn't matter if you know me or if your my friend. If we cn get this to the world then You're already my friend." And, friend, don't forget the power of the internet: "If we can get millions of signuatures to stop SOPA we can do it again! HELP THIS CAUSE! MAKE HIM KNOWN!"
$1.09 for 4"x8" print, deviantART
"On April the 20th when the sun goes down," ~XxKyoshi says, "everyone start spreading the word on facebook, tumblr(Got this idea from tumblr), and everywhere else! But still do it right now, like still spread the word EVERYWHERE! game sites, facebook, etc."
Keep your mind on the KONY 2012 campaign even while relaxing with these "100% natural, vegan, and extremely moisturizing," and relax even more knowing that "$1 from every bath bomb purchased goes directly towards this campaign." Talk about dropping a "bomb" on Joseph Kony!
Flaunt the carved-out emptiness of your soul by purchasing and wearing in public the event horizon of the internet. Now everyone will know that you love Hunger Games , hate child soldiers, and are familiar with an internet meme. Make sure you indicate your size on the order form.