This is one of those things where you have to really squint to see it — except even squinting is no guarantee. A tipster sent in this eBay listing for "IMAGE OF MITT ROMNEY AND SATAN SHAKING HANDS ON PIECE OF TOAST." An intriguing find, to be sure, but whatever image the toast advertises is subtle, to say the least. It mostly just looks like a piece of toast. And with an $88.40 shipping fee, it's an expensive piece of toast.
But seriously, it's totally authentic.
This came out of a toaster of a true-blue Republican friend of mine.
He was so shocked that he called me to get it out of his house. I rushed out and retrieved this piece of evidence and photographed it. Everyone who sees this item exclaims that it is the real thing and proves what conservatives have been saying all along. The Mormon religion is a cult that was devised by Satan himself....and Willard is trying to convert America into cultists!
This isn't just a miraculous image: it's a pointed message against Mormonism. Actually, the toast appears to have a confused agenda, as the eBay listing goes on to offer several other, non-Mormon interpretations for the suggestive burn marks, including "Santorum kicking unwed mothers" and "Boehner and McConnell weeping in theater during screening of 'Game Change.'"
Yeah, OK, probably a hoax, but it's definitely real bread.