'Sorry You Got Butt-Hurt' and Other Non-Apologies You Sent Us This Week

Welcome to this week's roundup of emailed threats, complaints, and hateful grievances at large. Kindly take a look at the emails below and enjoy!

A Cantaloupe Statue of Swans for Every Occasion

I'm sorry you got butt-hurt! I am going to send you an edible arrangement.
-A. Nonie Meus

Yes, We Have Both!

Do y'all have editors (or spell check or an education)?

For fuck's sake, it should be embarrassing for a "writer" to see this shit online.

Jenius Journalisming

contrary evidence? for what?
religious exemption is the excuse to not be FORCIBLY INJECTED.....GENIUS

dont bother looking at this link, you dont have time away from your busy busy JOURNALISM career

???

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IN THESE ARTICLES

Living on an Abortion Prayer

You are quite the pro-abortion fanatic aren't you.

SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

"I want to write about penises"

Hey gawker assholes;snarky,clever hipsters! Not sure if you realized that another asshole: Nazi fuckers in France killed in cold blood two young Jews and their Rabbi Father. Just for being Jews.

Why no clever headline?Perhaps- "Nazis re-emerge to kill all Jews" then maybe some article slanted towards little sympathy for the dead 3 and 6 and 30year old respectively, and twist the article towards your love for Muslims,gays,celebrities, and john Stuart.

Really-go butt fu*k itself for being such assholes. Oh, tell the Jews on staff that no matter how much boy on boy making out,hate Israel,pro communist articles they write, they will still be full blooded Jews who would have been slaughtered in Nazi Germany,same as their orthodox counterparts.

Have you no shame?which comedian jerks off,the gays, snooki, bunnygate,famous penises- those are ur topics but not one teeny little blurb about innocent law abiding individuals being murdered?

Really?

Don't you realize that the country that allows you the freedom to write your pointless shit,and gives you a soap box for your pointless shit should also perhaps be used from time to time just to awaken peoples senses to the hate in the world and pointless killing.

Perhaps an article about Darfur,Assad slaughtering his people,shit that matters...no were gawker, we write about shit,and shit and more shit,then sell ads selling shit,then go home and eat locally sourced pizza.

Gawker. You are totally adding-in"likes" to you fb profile. I cannot imagine that so many people like to read shit.

Oh wait. No one has Jobs because capitalism killed the world economy.oh wait, capitalism allows for free enterprise and private companies like gawker exist and companies like google to bring readers to your product, another private company...exist and private people to invest in your company ...hmmm. Oh shit, I need to get to the occupy wall street protest at zucotti park to protest this shit.

Ahh. Whatever. Its just the jews.they killed 6 mill so 3 more big deal. I want to write about penises.

Fuck you gawker.

— Sent from my HP TouchPad not the iPad.

Love From Steve Wonder

What avid Gawker reader loves your site BUT hates hates hates Blind items ? This avid Gawker enthusiast wishes you would have the balls (or hire more lawyers) to just publish the names of these people. In the past week this reader has discovered Kurt Douglas is a rapist and a stand up comedian masturbates.

I hope you use my blind item. I'm 100 percent sure of it's authenticity.

Love Always,

Stevie Wonder (get it...he's blind. Ha...I'm clever).

It's Official

Dear Gawker,

You officially SUCK!

Writing Windmills

The word you should have used is ensuring. Granted the words are synonymous with each other but their definitions have a distinction that makes a huge impact on what is said. Insure has to do with providing monetary compensation in the event that the item/person being insured is damaged in some way. Ensure has to do with making things be a specific way, not providing compensation for it not being that way. The subtlety of the distinction may be lost on some readers but for others it kind of puts a stop in the flow of the narrative.

I know I am tilting at windmills here but it would be nice if professional writers took the time to actually get proficient with the language in which they earn their pay.

~~Ron