Start Stockpiling Maple Syrup

While we were all frolicking, naked, in our kiddie pools during last week's crazy heat wave, the nation's maple farmers were shedding tears of sweet sadness: This year's tropical temperatures are devastating maple production. For the love of all things breakfast: start stockpiling maple syrup.

The early spring has drastically cut the length of this year's maple sugaring season, which requires freezing night temperatures to get the sap flowing.

"Not only have I never seen a season like this," Mass. maple farmer Paul Boulanger told Wickedlocal.com. "I have colleagues in the maple industry that have been doing this longer than I've been alive, and they've never seen it."

One Wisconsin maple syrup producer got just 400 gallons compared to his usual 2,200. Another Vermont maple farmer quoted in the New York Times said his crop was down by half this year. This year's syrup drought could eventually lead to a price increase of about 10 percent, one expert told the AP.

And as climate change promises to bring even more "weather weirding," maple syrup production will probably keep getting hit. It's time to start hoarding: Every American should have at least a 50-gallon drum in their basement. When we inevitably end up in a Waterworld-type post-apocalyptic society, survivors will probably use this ancient liquid gold as a makeshift currency.

[Image via AP]