It's that dumb time of the year: The TIME 100 poll is live, giving internet users the chance to vote for their warped idea of the world's most influential person. The current leader is an employee of insufferable geek fortress Reddit, propelled there by the hugely popular message board's mindless horde. Fuck that.
Reddit's chief babysitter—aka "community manager"—Erik Martin currently has an enormous lead in the TIME 100 poll, solidly beating actually influential people like Barack Obama, Tilda Swinton and George R.R. Martin. (Third place is Ron Paul, of course.) This is no shock, since Reddit users are the only people on the internet who take internet polls seriously.
Now, the TIME 100 is a pointless stunt to drive traffic to a dying magazine's mediocre website. But if Reddit wins, it will be spun as further proof that the site is an unstoppable internet tastemaker. And we will be that much closer to a dark future of Reddit world domination, where rage comics are an accepted mode of expression, nobody believes sexual assault victims, and Ron Paul actually is one of the most influential people in the world.
Reddit must not win this poll. Click here and vote for Zooey Deschanel, who is currently in 23rd place. (You know who she is.) Don't think of it as a vote for an actress who probably speaks solely in Someecards captions. Think of it as a vote against Reddit. Vote Zooey. You have until Friday.
Erik Martin: 120,558
Zooey Deschanel: 12,394
Image by Jim Cooke.