The Mayor of Harrison Reaches Out and Other Surprising Invitations We Received This Week

This week's hate mail was brimming with racism, lunch invitations, incensed Chevy Chase support, and the occasional grammatical error or two. A few were like little time capsules from the past, reminders that our ability to inspire ravenous anger in you has—and will always— remain the same. So enjoy this roundup and shine on, you crazy diamonds!

The Confused Owner of a Slutty Dog Strikes Back with a Proposition

I noticed you featured me on your angry mail for the week. I don't
appreciate my dog's slut habits are now open to the internet. But all
will be forgiven if you do a story on my New blog that takes an in
depth look at the asian businessman.
http://asianbusinessmen.tumblr.com/
my team and i are doing ground breaking work and it would be amazing
to be featured on your website mr. Jones.

A Little Slam Poetry

I hope that Mary got to keep her salary, because who can stop anyone from borrowing controversies? The ad is good and she rocked the joint to the point that if you were thinking about chicken, then you had a chip on your shoulder when you went through? Check, maybe the restrooms where dirty or call the health department on employees who didn't wash their hands, of better get your own gig ad see if you will be offended at earning a live by doing excellent job?

He's Not a Commenter, He's an Asshole

Your Chevy Chase article is the biggest pile of shit I've seen on Gawker.

A Brief Conversation Regarding Fetal Food

Emailer: Max,
You are so brave to prey upon the sensibilities of the people who sincerely care about this issue.
The image featured as the leader is demonic and you are a fool to play a part in this mockery.
Take your place with the monstrous!

Max: what are you talking about

Emailer: The link to your email was offered after a hideous ariticle on the web. I apologize is this was an error.

Max: what "hideous article"
be specific man

Emailer: On fetal tissue in the food industry

Max: lmao k bro. *takes place with the monstrous*

gl with your business

The article in question is from 2008. Still got it.

hello! i was wondering where i can get a paire of the baggy thigt pants from Soulful Commandoe ? they are so cool.. i need them!! thank you :)

Waaaaiiit. They don't take tickets at the slip 'n slide!

Don't quit your night job as the semen slip and slide ticket taker.

Friends in high places

Hamilton,

Thank you for making my afternoon! I haven't laughed so hard in quite some time.

The reputation Harrison has acquired as home to the KKK is something we work very hard at overcoming. Your article and those of others help us to do just that. Harrison is not the KKK and they are not Harrison.

Next time you are in town (although I doubt you will be invited back for a Klan rally) I will be happy to buy you lunch!!!

Jeff Crockett
Mayor
City of Harrison

It's about dat Dicky Icky

Wtf dude. not cool. You cannot fire him. The whole point of the show is that all of these people are non essential but they band together to become a family. you a dick. i can smell your dick-i-ness from here. Senario, 10 years ago. man of the house comes out. i know its more like 8 years but fuck facts, that movie was great. When i saw the previews for this disney classic I was off put by the father son relationship chevy had with beautiful J.T.T. (Johnathan Taylor Thomas if by some weird chance that you arent a human being who live in the 90's) i wasnt excited. but it worked and i became a fan of chevy. mind you chevy is like america. you fire him. you fire america. I'm so flustered i just used the word flustered in a sentence. That word should never be heard/thought of ever. ITS A TERIBBLE DUMB KONY 2012 word. watch it man. pull down the article. or else ill call your mom repeatedly and tell her her son is a dak. thats right i spelt it wrong. i aint gonna change it. cuz you would win. da end.