PR Dummies: Survey Says, 'Nobody Gives a Shit'S

The public relations industry is the birthplace of nutrition-free filler that grows up to become pseudonews. Sometimes, it can be a terrifying thing to behold in its rawest form. This is PR Dummies. The dumbth of PR, every week.

This week: surveys are a classic way to drum up fake news coverage. Surveys can be dumb. But they can't be super, super, super dumb. This one is.

From: [Flack]@bridgeandtunnelcomm.com
Subject: ARE TIGER WOODS FANS UNDATEABLE..??

Hello,

Hope you are well! I'd love you to consider covering the below survey for Gawker! Hope to hear from you soon!

Best,
[Flack]

ARE TIGER WOODS FANS UNDATEABLE..??

Online Dating Site Surveys Singles to Find Out

Augusta, Georgia (April 5, 2012) With the Masters commencing today, popular dating site HowAboutWe.com decided to survey their members and find out if following Tiger Woods as a fan is the ultimate c*ckblock. Surprisingly, most singles don't view rooting for the libidinous golfer as a red flag in itself. According to the survey, which received over 1000 responses from singles across the U.S., only 11% felt strongly enough about the golfer's wandering ways that "wanting Tiger to be successful in any way is a huge turn-off" to them.

The majority of women don't view rooting for Tiger Woods as a deal breaker at all. In fact, 47% of singles would date someone who roots for Tiger Woods, as they felt "it has no bearing on actual personality." The remaining 42% weren't quite as forgiving, responding 'If they're only supporting him as an athlete, yes. If they're sympathetic in other ways, no way!"

For More information regarding HowAboutWe.com or the Tiger Woods survey please contact:

[PR Dummy]

The most popular answer to this survey is literally "I don't give a shit about what you're asking about."

[Thanks to all who submitted. Please send your own PR Dummies nominations here.]