Feeble Anarchists Fail to Smash New York City Starbucks Window

Time was, anarchists could simply look askance at a Starbucks' big greedy oppression-symbolizing window and it'd shatter out of sheer terror. But in the age-old battle between anarchists and Starbucks, the coffeemaker appears to have gained the upper hand.

Saturday night, a group of a few dozen anarchists who'd been attending a nearby anarchist book fair marched on an East Village Starbucks, all hopped up on mate, shitty zines and Deleuze. It was time for a classic Starbucks smashing!

But they were foiled by Starbucks' advanced anarchist-repelling window technology. The New York Daily News reports:

Patrons at Astor Place coffee shop dashed underneath tables as metal pipe-wielding protesters attempted to shatter its floor-to-ceiling Plexiglas windows during a Saturday night riot, police and workers said.

Luckily, the unbreakable panes prevented injuries, one barista said.

Three protesters were arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer, disorderly conduct and being so 2009. Haven't you been reading The New York Times, anarchists? The only people who drink at Starbucks in New York City anymore are construction workers, college students and tourists. Any respectable coffee shop-smashing snob would demolish a Blue Bottle Coffee.

[Image via Dave Winer/Flickr]