Your 2012 Pulitzer Prize winners have been announced! [Pause.] That very faint sound you hear is the cheering of a dozen or so newsrooms across America, interspersed with the vast silence of a nation that could not care less about the 2012 Pulitzer Prize winners.
Most notable winner this year: "No award," for Editorial Writing, a category that had eight people nominated as finalists. We'd like to state our formal strong agreement with the Pulitzer Committee's acknowledgment—however tardy—that institutional editorial writing is a worthless anachronism in this modern media age. (They also gave "No award" in Fiction, stiffing David Foster Wallace, among others. Big balls on the Pulitzer Committee this year. We like it.)
The Huffington Post won the National Reporting Pulitzer this year. Welcome to the future.
We'd like to remind you that Pulitzers are worthless.
Gawker.com has still never won a Pulitzer. We don't care though. We're like, "whatever."
Congratulations to all of the winners.