We've seen incest, rape and multi-position fucking with someone of questionable mental fitness, but thus far Game of Thrones has avoided gay intimacy. There was one scene last season where America's Next Top Throne Claimer Renly (played by the increasingly delectable Gethin Anthony) was shaved by his wife's brother, Loras, which culminated in an implied blowjob. And then last night, there was the failure to launch that you see above, with Loras getting all pissy over Renly making Brienne of Tarth a member of the King's Guard after she defeated Loras in a tussle. Blah blah blah blah Tarth. Keep the politics out of the bedroom, boys. The whole point of sex is that it lets you take your mind off of your ambition to rule (and serve the ruler) of your mythical pseudo medieval fairyworld. You become the master of your own private fairyworld, especially if you are gay.

There's hope yet: Renly's elfin wife, Margaery, is onto his dude-consuming tendencies and proposed that her brother be brought in to fluff Renly so that he can make her pregnant, strengthening their bond and his power. So a brother-sister-husband threesome may be in order. Incest may be the route to getting gay sex on the show, which is weird, but I'll take it.

Every week, I'm determining the most appealing part of Game of Thrones: the Dinklage (via the show's most likable, clever character Tyrion) or the dickage, via the show's rampant trashy sex. Consider that high/low defined. This week, it's all about the dickage. If potential was good enough for Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman, it's good enough for me.