Satan Is the New Sex, Making Everyone Buy CDs

Here are Five Surprising Things we can learn from FoxNews.com's story about how pop artists are turning to satanic imagery to drum up sales:

  • 1. Satan is the new sex. (Experts say.)
  • 2.For someone so gifted at delivering complex rhymes at whiplash-inducing speeds, Nicki Minaj is surprisingly wretched at generating normal human speech. Here she is slushing her way through an explanation of her alter ego Roman. (She's speaking in the context of her bonkers 2012 Grammy performance):

    "His name is Roman. Basically, the religious figure is there because he was called by Roman's mom to rehabilitate him. That's pretty much it. I had this vision for Roman. I had this vision for him to be sort of exorcised. People around him tell him he's not good enough ‘cause he's not normal, and he's not blending in with the average Joe. People around him are afraid because they've never seen anything like him. Not only is he amazing, sure of himself and confident, but he's never going to be exorcised. Even when they throw the holy water on him, he rises above."

  • 3. Some people don't understand the concept of "not giving a fuck":

    There's a reason it's called ‘shock value,'" says Shawn McEvoy, the Managing Editor of the Christian website Crosswalk.com. "It sells, though logically it shouldn't, because if Satan is real, then he's our enemy who has nothing but our destruction in mind, and if you're an atheist, why buy that which glorifies the losing side of a theology you don't believe in anyway?"

  • 4. Sometimes quotes that seem like they would come from Shawn McEvoy, the Managing Editor of the Christian website Crosswalk.com, actually come from Yahoo! Music Editor Billy Johnson:

    "Many musicians make the sign of the horns gesture with their hands to celebrate rock and roll. But the gesture is widely known for mimicking devil horns. There are also many other satanic symbols like pentagrams and the numbers 666 that show up in more and more music videos," explains Yahoo! Music editor Billy Johnson.

  • 5. Structurally, the shadowy Illuminati organization is almost identical to the executive board of Sean "Diddy" Combs' Bad Boy Records:

    ...the Illuminati, an alleged secret society of powerful musicians, CEOs and politicians rumored to worship the devil...

  • Also, Lady Gaga could do more to dispel rumors she is a servant of the dark lord:

    A simple Google search of Gaga's name yields results that suggest [she is] a servant of the dark lord, which she does little to dispel...

    Be proactive, Gaga.

    [Image via AP]