(Watch out, the clip above is NSFW if your job doesn't allow you to look at tits. If that's the case, you should probably quit, though.)

There's such a weird disparity of action on Game of Thrones. Four episodes deep into the second season, and little has happened in the grand scheme of the fight for the throne beyond lots of traveling and attempting to build alliances (it's like the least productive, most somnambulistic season The Amazing Race ever). But as the primary action crawls along, there is a host of trashy distractions that helps keep things moving. On last night's show, we saw child star Joffrey orchestrate the raping of a whore with a club, a kid piss himself, torture by rat and heard that Cersei is cheating on her brother with her cousin (really revolutionary of Thrones to explore the potentially addictive nature of incest). And then, in the episode's climax, we watched the mistress of Stannis Baratheon (yes, he's in the running for the throne, like everyone), Melisandre, give birth to a spirit that looks like a mixture of shadows and period blood. This more than made up for us being cheated out of Daenerys' Dothraki devil childbirth, which we only heard about after the fact last season.

Oh, and the show also opened with a fart joke (this marks the second time this season people have cracked themselves up talking about farts). The people of Westeros: they're just like us.


Since Tyrion did little more than save Sansa from Joffrey's torture and convert Cersei's cousin lover, Lancel, into a mole, dickage rules this week. Any kind of fucking that could lead to the birth of a period-blood demon is worth celebrating.