'I Shall Crush You Like the South' and Other Nostalgic Promises You Made to Us This Week

It's the dawning of a new commenting era here at Gawker, but sometimes commenting jut isn't enough. This week we came together to reflect upon racism, hipsters, hipster racism, Girls, racist hipster girls, and paragliding. Please enjoy this week's smorgasbord of rantings, then get out there and kick it up like the summer you spent on the cape when the beers were cold and the tunes were loud and the girls were young.

Watermelon is a popular flavor for sweets

Sometimes being on hyper-liberal websites is as infuriating as watching Fox News. You guys read way too much into things. The fact that YOU made the connection between a black Disney princess and watermelon flavor shows that YOU readily associate watermelons with black people. Grow up. People all around the world eat watermelon and it is a popular flavor for sweets. Yeah, you are soooo enlightened and ahead of everyone else. As a queer, Chinese woman, I am consistently sickened by media sensationalism of mundane happenstance.

Have a great day.

You're Just a Record of Events Fucking Idiot

You're a fucking idiot. I would explain why, but you're either too much of a fucking idiot to get it. Or you're just an annal fucking idiot who doesn't think beyond his own personal little world.

A Paraglide Shift

I usually look forward to gawkers sarcastic spin on gossip but this morning I watched http://gawker.com/5904658/the-new-discover-america-ad-targets-foreign-skydiving-falconers and given that the very title is rooted into your ignorance really turns the joke on you. That is not a sky diver. It is in fact a paraglider. Huge difference. This scene is entirely plausible. Do you know what skydiving looks like?

"No wonder our immigrants are going the fuck back to Mexico." Really?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragliding

Beware John Cook, the Word Padder of the Webs

I think it's really strange that you have extremely snide, dismissive, oftentimes hard-to-understand recaps of episodes of "Girls". It seems like the writer is trying to be arch, but the actual result is too wordy to contain much humor. He clunkily refers to the actresses (where a swift 'Dunham' or 'Kirke' would do) by not only their parents' names— a joke which ages rapidly— but also, inexplicably, by the names of various political figures? Honestly, that seems like the whole 'joke' of the recaps.

The show isn't as bad as all this (I think it's actually very funny and interesting), and the harshness of these recaps really makes me feel bad for Dunham and her crew. Some things he mockingly quotes are really good parts of the episode. For instance:

"They talk about a book called Listen Ladies: A Tough Love Approach to the Tough Game of Love: "Sex from behind is degrading, point blank. You deserve someone who wants to look in your face, ladies." Rep. Iris Faircloth Blitch loves this book. Sen. Strom Thurmond "hate read it." But Gov. Orval Faubus is outraged. "I don't like women telling other women what to do or how to do it or when to do it. Every time I have sex it's my choice.""

?? I thought this scene was compelling, funny, and a very brisk way to characterize the three girls, yet it's written so dismissively. Also, it's hard to tell who the writer is talking about when he refers to them by completely random names.

""Jokes about rape, or race, or incest, or any of that stuff," he tells her, "It's not office-OK." No job for her."

This scene was extremely funny, and nuanced. It showed why Hannah's personable-yet-crass nature could either help her succeed someday or could humiliate her.

I don't know. If you pay per word, I'd be wary of John Cook. He seems to have an awful lot of word-padding going on.

Thanks

A Segregationist Speaks

This movie was produced for a targeted audience. It was not made for a obviously gay movie critic.
Sorry you had to waste your time watching this movie. I guess you didn't have a choice you had to do your job.
This movie was mainly focus on appealing to an African American audience not a gay Caucasian movie critic.
You should have figured that out by the actor and actresses that were cast for this film.

A Message From the Ghost of Ulysses S. Grant

Dear max,

neogtiations have failed,it is a sad day,today,for isolation,i lead many people to there deaths.But i swear to you,good sir,I shall crush you like the south

The Ecstasy of Cerebral Accomplishment

Dear Uninformed Author,
Your article entitled "The ecstasy of accomplishment" contains a statement as follows: "You didn't earn your education. You didn't earn your job. You didn't earn your looks. You didn't earn your money, or your popularity."

That is just ignorant. First off, I damn well did earn my education and my money, and my job for that matter. Let me tell you a brief story. I came from a rural home in the woods of NH, from a family of 5 children with minimal money to live on. Guess what? Life didn't hand my my scholarships to pay for my education. I earned that shit, that allowed me to attend a specialty science college. I earned my good grades there that allowed me to attend a Master's program in Scotland with all my tuition paid for. That had nothing to do with nature, nurture or luck. That was fucking hard work. Harder work that working out at a stupid gym (which I also do by the way).

So in short, go fuck yourself for placing physical competence on a higher level than cerebral competence. Clearly it is just a compensatory mechanism you have to make yourself feel better about the things you don't achieve in life that have nothing to do with physical fitness. Physical fitness is easier to achieve, because all human bodies are able to become strong. Not all humans minds are able to become smart. Also, it was nice of you to disable comments so you can hide from reader comments that point out the flaws in this stupidly insulting article.

Sincerely someone who has earned everything she has in life,
Casey

An Emailed Temper Tantrum

It's assholes like you that are to blame for ALL this racial bullshit. "he had every right to walk in the streets of his soon-to-be-stepmother's neighborhood without fear of being shot". George Zimmerman also had the right not to get the shit kicked out of him either for trying to defend his neighborhood against criminals like Martin.

The media's version of a hate crime is bullshit. The more believable scenario is that Martin was hanging around up to no good and poor George got justifiably suspicious and asked him what he was doing. He was then beaten half to death by another, uncountable, useless, black, wanna-be gangster thug. Zimmerman shot the worthless nigger because it was either that or get beaten to death. I wonder if George hadn't defended himself the only way that he could and was killed by the future DOC resident, would that have been charged as a hate crime?
That nigger had NO ONE to blame but himself, because of his actions, and now another innocent white man has his life ruined (not even white, hispanic - but jerk-offs like you find it convenient to ignore that fact just to stir-up UNFOUNDED anti-white hatred and racial tension. You fuckers love stirring up the natives) by another useless, dirt-bag, nigger and gang of self-serving race hustlers (aka, Al Sharpton)

Where's the outrage regarding these you fucking asshole??????????? THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you want to complain about ONE little nigger that gets exactly what he deserved BASED SOLELY ON HIS ACTIONS!!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER, HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drop fucking dead you fucking liberal nigger-loving, completely insane piece of shit!!!!!!!!!

http://www.sullivan-county.com/wcva/liberal_racism.htm

http://whitelocust.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/obamas-son-nkosi-thadiwe-targeted-brittany-watts-for-being-white/

http://amren.com/news/2012/02/the-flaw-in-this-racial-hoax-she-spelled-one-name-right-her-own/

Fairly Racist or Racist, Fairly?

Your article on girls came off as being fairly racist, and though you may not believe it, a white person can be racist toward white people. You come off as just another radical progressive wannabe who equates hating his own race with progressiveness or openmindedness.

To make generalizations about an entire race, which you do in your article, is racist whether you are of that race or not. While most people are proud of who they are, who hasn't heard of black pride, proud Latinos, etc, it seems that you and other people of similar mindsets are ashamed of being white. You make sweeping generalization comments about whites, something you'd probably be the first to lambast if done against another race, and ignore the fact that there are good and bad in every race. No people is entirely innocent and none entirely guilty. Exapand your seemingly simple udnerstanding of race relations.

Your opinions as argued in your article continue a trend I've witnessed — the new cool. To hate white people as a white person these hipster-haters, as I like to call them, are usually affluent, college educated, whites, who have benefited from the racist system that they're vocally, if not substantially, railing against. It makes me think you're weak and scared of the people of color around you, that you can't voice a pride in your own race, so you have to kiss the ground of other races. Guess what? They don't want to be your friend, and I can't blame them.

At first I thought you were joking... but then I came to realize, that (A) your reading of him, and vision of the world is impossibly self-involved and shallow, and (B) frankly, the resulting commentary, was both sad, and deeply frightening, in its intolerence, and narrow vision.

A

What Is Art?

That was one crappy piece of journalism. Hope nobody pays you for that drivle becuase its evident you didn't do any work to understand your subject matter.
You can pretend your some hotshot art critic but millions of people appreciate and admire the skill to present an image on canvas that is unique and captivates their imagination, just what art is intended to do. Maybe you have different taste, or maybe you lack substantive value in what you do so if you critize Thomas Kinkade maybe it gives you some sense of equality or superiority to him but when you take some perverse pleasure in the demise of someone afflicted with serious personal problems it just tells the world what an egocentric, self aggrandizing jerk you are.

Dear Louis, It's Me Mary

Louis,

I want to add to my prior e-mail in reference to your commentary the following:

In regards to Abortion, I am quoting the following King James Bible scriptures to reflect God's Word about life and that He formed Life. God is pro-life and so I am.

Genesis 2:7, "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul."

Isaiah 44:24, Thus saith the Lord, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretched forth the heavens alone; that spreadth abroad the earth by myself."

Jeremiah 1:5, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee. I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Abortion is murder and destruction of a life in it's weakest form. God is the giver of life and has a special plan and purpose for every life. Our country is using abortion for birth control because the pregnancy wasn't planned (most aren't and none of my siblings were planned); the parents feel that have too many children (I was one of 7 children..on that basis I would not be here); or they believe they cannot financially afford another child (on this basis I would not be here either).

When I was a volunteer, as part of my training, I overheard a crisis pregnancy center counseling session. One of the reasons a 19-year old woman had an abortion was she would not be able to wear her bikini to Cedar Point, OH during the summer season if she continued with her pregnancy! Money was not the issue....inconvenience was the issue!

I have served as a volunteer in a crisis pregnancy center. Each woman was provided a free pregnancy test and free counseling. The church affiliated with the pregnancy center provided free pregnancy clothing, coupons for baby formula and baby clothing. In addition, information about housing was provided for the single mother. If a woman did not feel she could raise her child, we supported her decision to place the child in an adoptive home.

In the richest country in the world, there is no reason to abort a baby. There are thousands of couples of American that are waiting to adopt a baby. That's why many couples adopt from other countries. We also do not have a population problem in this country. We are not replacing our population.

I also am a conservative, and proud of it.

Mary

Suck On Sucker

Dear What's His Name,

Chuck Colson was a good, good man who walked the good, good earth. He took the time to send me an autograph, coach little league and sponsor orphans in Poland. Rest in Peace Mr. Colson. You, on the other hand, are a degenerate "journalist" who moves through life a slouching, pathetic wreck of a man who couldn't satisfy your wife under threat of a pistol whipping. Suck on sucker.

Absolutely the worst film I ever tried to watch. Might as well had Eddie Murphy playing Buckwheat. Where'd you get those actors,junkies r us?