No Handjob is Too Small For Last-Minute 'Sex and the City' Premiere Tickets

To our readers on the East Coast with a cash surplus, a self-esteem deficit and/or the impulse to sacrifice your Tuesday for a movie you can see on Friday for much, much less, a round-up of available Sex and the City premiere-pass deals just appeared online this afternoon. Don't hesitate to get in on the fun while Craigslist buyers and sellers trade souls (and, more than likely, at least one sexual favor) as we speak:

"Fabuloous [sic] flirtatious SJF looking to go to the Premiere at Radio City -Do you have an extra? Take ME -we will have fun!! Or sell me ONE!!... Cute fun outgoing gal coming from DC to attend and just need one reserved ticket(preferred) and a party pass for after-party!... this cute wonderfully fabulous early 40s gal would love to go!!"

More loin-tingling Faustian horror after the jump!

"My date can't make it, away on a business trip. I'm a nice looking, normal guy, blond/blue, 37, corporate professional. As I am 6'3", prefer you are at least 5'7."
"I can pay up to $6500.00 for after party tickets for Sex and the City in NY tonight. Very serious buyer."
"Two sexy Californians seeking tix for Sex and the City...We are a mother and daughter from California who have never missed a single episode of Sex and the City. We desperately want to go to the premiere at Radio City Music Hall. We have the dresses for it but not the tickets. Does anyone have extra tickets they might want to part with?"
"I have a pass that is good for two people to attend the star-filled Sex and the City premiere" [Price: $2500]
"WHAT A CHANCE FOR DIE HARD SEX AND THE CITY FANS!!!!!!!!! Do you Want to see your girls strut their stuff on the red carpet and watch the biggest movie to hit New York since Goodfellas." [Price: $550]
"Like all premieres, you must arrive early, by 4 pm for the 6pm showing, as the theaters overbook (hire someone to stand in line for you if you can't!)" [Price: $300 each, a discount if you buy all 4]
"Best offer takes it." [Price: "Cheap."]