A California man has filed suit against BMW North America after a four hour-ride on his BMW motorcycle turned into a two year party: he claims his bike's custom-installed ridged seat caused him to develop an erection that lasted for twenty months.
In his lawsuit, Henry Wolf, 52, states that the condition (Called priapism after a minor Greek fertility god named Priapus, whose huge, distracting boner dominates any depiction of him) left him unable to engage in sexual activity, causing him "substantial emotional and mental anguish" and leaving him "distraught and distressed."
The worst part is, as the owner of a BMW motorcycle, Wolf was probably having a lot of sex with cool, pretty, down-for-whatever chicks prior to this development.
Wolf's attorney, Vernon Bradley, added that Wolf was forced to "reconfigure his clothing" and had difficulty going to the bathroom because of the erection.
In court documents Wolf alleges that several physicians told him the priapism was a result of his four-hour rough ride on the ridged seat from Hell. However, news outlets are having a hard time finding any medical professionals willing to say the same.
The closest anyone has come is noting that, in rare instances, priapism can be caused by "trauma," and remarking that compression of the penis, up against, say, the custom seat of a BMW motorcycle, might result in temporary numbness.
Wolf is also coming down hard on the manufacturer of the seat, Corbin-Pacific Inc., seeking unstated damages for lost wages, personal injury, medical expenses, product liability, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.
Hopefully he can use the money to buy a Vespa.