Virgin Atlantic’s Upper Class Passengers Can Now Suck on Richard Branson’s Head

Virgin Atlantic is classing up its bar service by popping oversized ice cubes shaped like company founder Richard Branson's severed head in all their drinks, The Daily Mail reports.

The molds for the cubes, which, insultingly to Little Richard, are called "Little Richards," took a team of four designers six weeks to create. The development period involved "laser scanning technology." The final icy effigy is chillingly accurate.

When discussing why in God's name Virgin Atlantic decided to foist upon its passengers these graven frozen images, chief executive Steve Ridgway spoke of Richard Branson in the same slightly condescending way one might speak of Mickey Mouse or Santa Claus to a child:

"While Richard would love to be able to sit and enjoy a drink with all of our passengers, his schedule means that it simply isn't possible."

He added that the Little Richards will allow Branson to travel "in spirit" with his customers.

Kudos where kudos are due: that's a phenomenal pun.

Kitschy word play aside, the ice cubes were really just intended to draw attention to the airline's new in-flight bar, available as part of the airline's swanky, and, obviously, slightly tacky, "upper class" service.

Passengers flying economy will continue to be denied the privilege of receiving small blocks of frozen water shaped like a megalomaniac's head.

[The Daily Mail // Image via Virgin Atlantic]