Bin Laden documents released? Are we still talking about that guy? Far more interesting than some aquatic zombie's thoughts on Keith Olbermann's termination are the rarely seen Hitler documents up for auction next week.
The Washington Examiner reports that the cache's pièces de résistance are two lengthy reports on Hitler's health, the longer of which was penned by one of his six personal physicians, Dr. Erwin Giesing.
According to Alexander Historical Auctions president Bill Panagopulos, the shorter document reveals, among other things, that der Führer farted constantly as a result of his vegetarian diet, and was the recipient of regular bull semen injections aimed at rejuvenating his flagging libido.
From the section on Hitler's "Sex Characteristics":
Sexual organs showed no indications of abnormality or pathology and secondary sex characteristics were normally developed. Hitler was very fond of the society of attractive women, particularly during the years of his rise to power. In later years his libido was apparently sublimated with the increase in...responsibility. [Dr. Theodore] Morrell believes that Hitler, although not strongly inclined to sexual activity, did have sexual intercourse with Eva Braun, though they were accustomed to sleep in separate beds.
Dr. Giesing mentions in his report that Hitler, who was sniffing cocaine to clear his sinuses, had begun to "crave" the drug for its recreational attributes, so his dosage had to be lowered.
Panagopulos expects the two documents to sell for $2,000 a piece when they hit the auction block next Tuesday.
[photo via Getty]