Happy Belated Cinco de Mayo; Christmas is Dead

The National Christmas Tree planted near the White House one year ago has already died because you didn't love it enough.

Officials with the National Park Service report that the Colorado blue spruce died of "transplant shock" and also maybe of a broken heart because you seemed so into it at Christmas and then it was like you didn't even care. Very hot and cold.

The tree, which grew up on a farm in New Jersey, was planted on the Ellipse just south of the White House in March of last year.

It was brought in to replace another tree that had stood in the same spot since 1978 but was felled by strong winds in February 2011.

Many woodland creatures felt it was "creepy" that a new tree had stepped in to take the old one's place so soon after its death, and the National Christmas Tree had trouble making friends at first. The National Christmas Tree tried to mask its hurt feelings by constantly comparing Washington, D.C. unfavorably to New Jersey, a tactic that only served to further alienate acquaintances.

The National Park Service has already chosen a new Colorado blue spruce to take the dead tree's place (they certainly have a type), but don't have plans to plant it until October.

[AP via Washington Post // Image via Getty]