This Is the Only Headline In the World Today: 'Girlfriend of 'Female Genitalia Boy' Nabbed in Stuart'S

It seems unlikely that a story with the accompanying headline, "Girlfriend of '(female genitalia) boy' nabbed in Stuart," would live up to the name it was given. But it does. Let's see if we can break this down bit by bit, shall we:

  • A woman named Stacy Frontera is spotted yelling at her boyfriend in the parking lot of the Martin County Sheriff's Office and jail.
  • It is 2:40pm. The middle of the day during the middle of the week.
  • Frontera is spotted yelling, "pussy boy!" by a police officer working at the jail the parking lot belongs to.
  • Frontera explains to the officer that she is yelling "pussy boy!" at her boyfriend because he is trying to kill himself with a pen.
  • The man trying to kill himself with a pen had written the letter "P" on his shirt. The P, he explains, stands for pussy in honor of the female genitalia nickname she had given him.
  • (The original article points out that most men do not consider "pussy boy" a term of endearment.)
  • People walk by the jail parking lot. They see, but presumably do not understand, what is happening.
  • The police officer asks Frontera if she thinks her behavior is appropriate. She responds, "Yes. " And also that she does not "give a fuck."
  • It is determined that the pair were in the jail's parking lot because they had come to visit a friend currently residing in the jail.
  • It is also determined that the pair are drunk.
  • Another police officer joins the scene and Frontera is placed under arrest for Public Intoxication.
  • Frontera attempts to kick the police officers.
  • Frontera spits on the police officers.
  • Frontera is arrested super hard, again.
  • The article with the world's best headline, "Girlfriend of '(female genitalia) boy' nabbed in Stuart, report shows," is born.

[Via TCPalm]