Last night's Toddlers & Tiaras featured the 8-year-old Lacey-Mae, who has achondroplasia, a bone disorder that causes dwarfism. She's about the size of a three- or four-year-old, cute as a button and accepted in the pageant world, if her trophies and ability to elicit on-camera gushing from judges are any indication. Lacey-Mae's mom says she puts her kid in pageants "for her self-esteem," and while that seems like it could only be the outcome of a scenario that ends in victory, Lacey-Mae is a lot more happy go lucky than most kids on this show and her mom is less abrasive. It's also a very strange leveling-out dynamic, since kiddie pageants are all about dressing children to look older than their years, while Lacey-Mae inherently looks younger.

Anyway, Lacey-Mae went on to win a supreme title, so hooray for her. The other two girls in the It's a Small World-esque pageant that were profiled for T&T did as well, but let's not let that obscure Lacey-Mae's glory/self-esteem.

Speaking of one of those other girls, the clip to the left was actually the best scene in the episode. In it, the "father figure" (that's how he's identified) of Damitri'ana takes exception to the "scarce" "tribal wear" costume his daughter figure plans on rocking for her performance. With his perma-grin and heavy eyes, Kenny looks high as hell, which is definitely one way to do T&T. "Splits on headstands at 8-years-old, that's not good. It's not good because I seen it in a Ludacris video," he says. I love that a possibly baked dude provides the voice of reason in this fucking insane environment.