So when I began to dip my toes, tentatively, back into the dating world - when I finally accepted the possibility that my shattered heart could be somehow repaired and then proffered up again, to someone new - I had to ask: Could I be with a white guy?
Ridiculous question, I know. But Daniel often used to say (with only a hint of irony): "You can't talk to white people about this stuff." Could I be with someone who didn't concern himself with the fact that young black men are punished disproportionately in school compared with their white peers? Or that they are stopped and searched far more frequently, even though they are less often found with drugs in their possession? Could I be with someone who thought such things didn't matter? Or who believed that we had gotten past them when we moved a black family into the White House?
I think not. But that's only another feature of my future partner, like a sense of humor and a commitment to parenthood, that could be present in a person of any race. I should know that.
If the Style Section does not work out, there's always OKCupid.