Facebook's Stock Tumbles Harder Than a Drunk Bro In a College Sophomore's Facebook AlbumS

If Facebook's IPO on Friday was a one-day Web 2.0 Gold Rush, then today is when the prospectors realize all the gold has already been taken out of the rivers and start getting trashed on moonshine and move to San Jose to open a shoe store. After a disappointing day of trading on Friday, Facebook's stock tumbled 13 percent today, falling below its opening price on Friday of $42.

This will cause a new round of what does it mean? hand-wringing in the tech and financial press, as they boringly wrangle with the fallout of an IPO not meeting the outlandish hype they spent the last five months creating. Also, looking back, maybe the theme music that played behind Zuckerberg as he rang the opening bell on Nasdaq—which was a weird mutation of John Williams' score for the flying scene in "Hook"—was a bit much.

But basically all you need to know, as a consumer of Facebook, is that the crappier Facebook's stock does, the greater the pace at which Facebook becomes even more annoying, as big investors clamor for Mark Zuckerberg to wring more profits from us.

Right now, they're probably sitting in their penthouse offices clicking around Facebook and pondering innovative monetization schemes, especially after GM pulled their $10 million ad account because Facebook ads don't apparently do shit. What if Facebook created an algorithm to automatically insert advertisements in the pupils of each Facebook user's profile pictures, unless they pay a $5.99 yearly "Clear Pupil Fee?"

Image by Jim Cooke.