PR Dummies: 'STOP SLEEPWALKING MURDERS'S

The public relations industry provides a welcome refuge to craven scoundrels, scheming nihilists, and the clinically insane. All we do is peek inside once in a while. This is PR Dummies.

This press release was forwarded to us by a graduate assistant in the psychology department at a major university. "I occasionally receive e-mails from publishers pushing textbooks, but I have never seen anything like this!" she writes. Indeed. POLITICAL ORGANIZING DEMANDS CAPS LOCK.

From: [PR Dummy]
Subject: SLEEPWALKING DECODED

Dear Sir/Madam,

SLEEPWALKING IS MERELY A THROWBACK IN PHYLOGENY TO A PERIOD WHEN WE LIVED THE SLEEP – WAKE EXISTENCE OF REPTILES AND IS TOTALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH VIOLENCE. WE SLEEPWALK WHEN AND IF WE WERE SLEEPING TOO DEEP FOR OUR OWN SAFETY; AS SUCH, IN ORDER TO HALT OUR DESCENT INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS OR COMA, WE ARE THEN COMPELLED TO GET UP AND EXERCISE BY PERFORMING MUNDANE TASKS IN A CONSCIOUSNESS STATE BELONGING TO OUR REPTILIAN ANCESTORS, A CONDITION REFERRED TO AS DF DISORDER

New study finds

NOW, BRIAN THOMAS TO FACE RE – TRIAL FOR THE SLEEPWALKING MURDER OF CHRISTINE FOR WHICH HE WAS EARLIER AQUITTED IN 2009 www.delaninfadahunsysconsciousness.co.uk/swach for details.-

ABOUT THE SWACH (SLEEP WALKING AWARENESS CAMPAIGN FOR HUMANITY)

SWACH is a non – profit organization whose aim is to spread the good news that sleepwalking is now demystified as absolutely incompatible with violence of any sort; with the ultimate aim of ensuring that humanity will never again witness another sleepwalking murder .

Help save the life of the ‘next' sleepwalking murder victim! How?

By helping humanity to publicize the fact that sleepwalking is demystified; before another criminally minded individual decides to murder a loved one, planning to use sleepwalking as alibi, like Thomas Brian did.

Had this theory been publicized earlier or had Brian been aware of it prior, then perhaps Christine would still be alive – Delanin's guilt feeling.
To help, please go to: www.delaninfadahunsysconsciousness.co.uk/swach for details.

GOAL
AFTER THIS, THAT HUMANITY MAY NEVER AGAIN WITNESS ANOTHER SLEEPWALKING MURDER WITH IMPUNITY. DETERMINED TO STOP SLEEPWALKING MURDERS AND BRING COLD BLOODED MURDERERS TO JUSTICE! PERIOD. THIS IS A SWACH BILL.
SWACH is planning to sue Brian Thomas in a civil suit for the premeditated murder of Christine in 2009, for which he was earlier acquitted in a criminal case. Details at www.delaninfadahunsysconsciousness.co.uk/swach

Brian Thomas outside Court during the trial- A facade rehearsed for the Press?

Something to think about.

[Thanks to everyone who submitted. Please send your own PR Dummies nominations here.]