Don't Let Government Thugs Take Away America's Corn Sugar

If you're as American as I assure you I am, don't even look it up, then you can't be limited to just regular old sugar. Regular sugar is white, but "this land is your land" (multicultural). When you get a mighty hunger after driving your pickup truck to the American football games, nothing will hit that "sweet spot" except for some delicious real corn sugar. Whoops, sorry—the government bureaucrats aren't "okay" with that.

The fine down-home small farmers of America who bring you High Fructose Corn Syrup had themselves an idea a year or two ago: why not rename HFCS "corn sugar?" That way, more Americans will get that good, sweet, patriotic feeling, as they inevitably guzzle gallons upon gallons of it each week whether they like it or not because it is in virtually every form of processed food thanks to agriculture subsidies and you have diabetes. Hey, sounds good to me! But not to the NObama administration's unaccountable faceless government food thugs who want the government to be inside your refrigerator. Ad Age reports that the FDA has denied the industry's petition to rename the product, saying it would be misleading to consumers. Hey FDA, I guess you missed this???

The group even took to the airwaves, running an ad campaign by Omnicom's DDB, Chicago, that included TV spots featuring parents walking through cornfields declaring that whether corn sugar or cane sugar, "your body can't tell the difference."

"The simpler the message, the easier to remember," Ms. Erickson told Ad Age at the time. "Sugar is sugar."

This is America, where simpler is better. Am I eating an apple, or Chikn Cheeze Nacho Poppers? I don't know, to me it's all "food." I'm an American, and I have diabetes. *Dies.*

[Ad Age. Photo: Like the Grand Canyon/ Flickr]