Confusing Promises about Miley Cyrus’ New Album

E! News reported Wednesday evening that recently-engaged youth Miley Cyrus will release an album before her wedding to fiancé Liam Hemsworth, who has one of the greatest Wikipedia page pictures it will ever be your pleasure to see.

What makes this a story, though, is that the source who revealed this titillating info made lots of weird promises about it.

For one thing, The Source swears that Cyrus' new album will be "very adult and sexy and believable."

What do you suppose distinguishes a believable Miley Cyrus album from an unbelievable or even a crumbelievable one? Will there be no auto-tune? Will it feature Cyrus playing the bones in the vein of an early Smithsonian Folkways recording? Will it consist primarily of spoken word?

The Source goes on to explain that those concerned about what percentage of the believable album will be released before Cyrus' wedding need not worry, as it will "one hundred percent" drop before the nuptials.

Since we're on a roll, here are some things Cyrus is, courtesy of The Source:

  • "on her way" to New Orleans to see Liam Hemsworth
  • "enjoying her man"
  • "having fun making music" for "the first time in her career."

Where do we fit in to all of this?

"We are watching a young girl turn into a young woman," adds the source.

Who is The Source?

Is it Miley Cyrus?

[E! Online // Image via AP]