This Sunday, Oprah is sitting down on a giant couch with Michael Jackson's daughter Paris to have a chat about (Oprah air-quotes) "normal" childhoods, coping with the death of a parent, and other very Oprah topics.
In preparation for the interview, which was conducted for an episode of Oprah's Next Chapter, a show you did not know existed, OWN has released a promo clip of 14-year-old Paris Jackson discussing the perpetual masked ball that was her childhood.
"I was really confused. I didn't get why I was wearing a mask. But I understand now why my dad would want our [faces] to be covered. When we went out without him, we wouldn't be recognized and we could have a normal childhood."
Nothing groundbreaking – she said basically the same thing to Ellen DeGeneres last December, though, in that interview, she tossed around the word "stupid." The Internet is very excited about her professed confusion.
But the real story here is Paris' eyes.
Oh. My God. Paris' eyes.
They are absolutely entrancing.
For her part, Oprah, who appears to be wearing some sort of modified sweatsuit with satin fashion panel (And a ponytail too? She really didn't get dressed up for this), kind of bumbles and bobs around her questions, starting them off with hand gestures like she's talking to a young child
"Do you remember when you were little little?"
before the eyes command her to RECOGNIZE and she ratchets the discourse level up to adult
"When you would be secluded from the public?"
Paris' eyes explain to Oprah that their father never had a childhood. Paris' eyes tell Oprah that they used to love Chuck E. Cheese. Paris' eyes acknowledge the icy irony of discussing their deceased father's wishes for them to have a normal adolescence on a special televised interview with Oprah freaking Winfrey, but are too polite to say anything.
They really are something.
The other half of Sunday's episode will revolve around a sit-down with a very different Jackson: Curtis AKA 50 Cent.
50 Cent famously bought a miniature schnauzer, named it Oprah Winfree, and set it up with a Twitter account ("@OprahTheDog: 50 Cent's bitch").
Oprah Winfree was into planking.
So those two will probably have a lot to discuss. Hopefully Paris' eyes will make an appearance.
UPDATE for those [H8RZ] calling contacts: I don't think they're contacts. Exhibit A: A baby photo, from OK! Magazine.