Why, Oh, Why Did Lindsay Lohan Lie

This is according to TMZ, whose paid police and EMT sources are earning every dollar this week. Those sources tell Harvey Levin's gossip hounds that once Lindsay arrived at the hospital after her Porsche rammed the 18-wheeler, she panicked and said that she wasn't behind the wheel. This is bad because Lindsay's past run-ins with police officers and drug counselors and judges all insist she be a good girl forever and ever or else she'll find herself in the clink once again.

We're told police are writing up a report that will include Lindsay's lie. It's a crime to provide false info to a police officer. In addition, lying to police could trigger a probation violation in her shoplifting case, which means she faces the possibility of jail on 2 fronts.

Shitballs. This is bad. But if she wasn't doing anything wrong during the fender-bender, why would she even feel compelled to lie, lie, lie? Because this is a girl in a constant state of recalibration, whose initial reaction is to make time go backwards at the first signs of trouble. To expect her to answer a question truthfully on the first try is downright negligent. For example, if you ask Lilo what she had for breakfast, she is more likely to blurt out, "salamander fritters con carne," even though the real answer is probably "cereal" or more likely "nothing." So back off smokeys and let her decompress first.

Beware the Sad Tit. It knows all.

[Image via Pacific Coast News/Splash]