Obama Campaign Invites You to Play Matchmaker for Barack Obama

Have you always wanted to have dinner with Barack Obama and also have complete control over who else has dinner with Barack Obama because you love micromanaging his life?

Now you can.

The Hollywood Reporter notes that Obama's deputy campaign manager Julianna Smoot made a post today on the President's official website, laying out a "twist" to the popular Dinner with Barack fundraising events (a series of contests in which donors to the 2012 reelection campaign are selected, via lottery, to break bread and also ask for more free bread, please, can we get a little more bread over here, with the President.)

Now, in addition to having their names entered for a chance to win an Obameal for themselves (plus a guest), donors will also "get to help pick" which celebrity Obama will bring to the meal as his guest.

Smoot notes that Obama has "had some pretty amazing dinner guests lately: George Clooney, Sarah Jessica Parker, and of course, President Bill Clinton." He's actually having dinner at SJP's house this Thursday, and you can be damn sure there won't be any pianos around to spoil the night.

So: With whom should Barack Obama be forced to dine for your amusement?

This is a delicate dance.

On the one hand, you want to pick someone who will make the dinner an exciting experience for you, like Jon Hamm. On the other hand, Jon Hamm will have no heed of you at the dinner if there is someone as important as Barack Obama there, and you didn't invite Jon Hamm to this dinner so he could ignore you all night.

If you open up your list of possible candidates to include celebrated dead people, like Oscar Wilde, you really expand your options. However, it is unlikely that the Obama campaign would be able to successfully cajole a dead guest into coming, especially on such short notice (entries must be received by June 26).

Many people's instinct would likely be to select an entertaining reality star, like Teresa Giudice, but, then, we must consider that reality stars often only behave completely irrationally (and, thus, in an entertaining fashion) when cloistered safely within their faux-reality environments.

Also, you probably don't want to give a low-rent reality star the satisfaction of having met the President, no matter how entertaining they are. (And Caroline would get so mad.)

Further, it's unclear how the Obama campaign will ensure that the chosen guest turns up to the dinner. While it's possible they might instate a celebrity conscription policy, thus forcing Republican stars like Jon Voight to seek asylum in Canada, it's more likely they'll just invite people they're already pretty sure will say yes.

So you want someone who is famous, charming, not dead, a little bawdy, and willing to eat with Barack Obama though not so impressed by him that they won't pay any attention to you at the meal.

Joe Biden it is.

[BarackObama.com via Hollywood Reporter // Image via AP]