Did You Hear About the Man Who Was Having Sex, But Not With His Wife, When He Died?

A Georgia man's widow was awarded $3M earlier this month, after it was ruled that a doctor failed to diagnose and treat her husband's heart condition. Luckily, your gossipy neighbor Francine has teamed up with several major news outlets to bring you the real scoop:

HE WAS HAVING THREEWAY SEX WITH SOMEONE(S) OTHER THAN THIS WIFE WHEN HE DIED.

"William Martinez, a 31-year-old Atlanta police officer, collapsed and died while he and a male friend were having sex with a woman who was not his wife at an Atlanta airport motel in 2009." – USA Today, 2nd paragraph.

Martinez' wife, THE WOMAN WITH WHOM HE WAS NOT HAVING THREEWAY SEX WHEN HE DIED, filed a medical malpractice suit seeking $5M in damages against her husband's cardiologist following the death. She claimed the doctor had failed to diagnose her husband's high blood pressure, chest pains, shortness of breath and irregular heartbeat, and that he did not order him to avoid strenuous physical activity LIKE HAVING THREEWAY SEX WITH WOMEN (AND MEN) INCLUDING OR OTHER THAN HER until more tests could be done.

The cardiologist countered that he had, in fact, "specifically told Mr. Martinez not to engage in any strenuous activity" LIKE HAVING THREEWAY SEX WITH A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT HIS WIFE, but that the patient had gone ahead and HAD THREEWAY SEX WITH A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT HIS WIFE AND A MAN WHO WAS NOT HIS HUSBAND anyway.

After examining the juicy story at hand, the jury determined that Officer Martinez, A NOTED FAN OF SEX –OF THE THREEWAY VARIETY— INVOLVING PEOPLE OTHER THAN HIS WIFE, was "40 percent responsible for his own death" and lowered the award given to his wife, ONE OF THE MANY WOMEN WITH WHOM HE WAS NOT ENGAGED IN THREEWAY SEX WHEN HE DIED, down to $3M.

Oddly, the most vehement slut-shaming of all came not from the USA Today or MSNBC or The Internet in general, but from the Martinez family's own lawyer, Rod Edmond, who said this :

"The type of sex that he was engaged in is the type that's totally unacceptable in our community. But the fact of the matter is this man could have died running on the treadmill, running after a criminal."

Martinez died of atherosclerotic coronary artery disease.

As he was having threeway sex with two people, neither of whom was his wife.

[WXIA-TV via MSNBC // USA Today // Image via doglikehorse for Shutterstock]