Some people's strengths lie in child-rearing. Other people's strengths lie in drug-planting. This is a story about three people whose strengths lie elsewhere.
The L.A. Times reports that Orange County police recently arrested Kent and Jill Easter on charges of conspiracy after they allegedly plotted to frame a woman for drug possession by hiding marijuana and painkillers in her unlocked car.
The victim was a parent volunteer at their son's elementary school.
The Easters were dissatisfied with the level of supervision this parent volunteer had given their son while he was at his elementary school.
So they conspired to have her arrested.
According to authorities, Kent Easter, who, based on his mugshot, should be played by a gaunt Seth Meyers in the film adaptation, drove to the volunteer's home just after midnight on February 16, 2011 and left a Big Bag of Drugs in her unlocked car. Then he drove to a hotel in Newport Beach and called police from a public phone, falsely reporting he had seen the volunteer—whom he identified by name—hiding the Big Bag of Drugs in her car.
Jill Easter (mugshot casting couch: Jennifer Coolidge?) was presumably at home with her son as this charade went down, providing the kind of quality supervision she demands from parent volunteers at his elementary school. Police noted that Jill and Kent were in constant contact (via cell) as the night's events unfolded.
Open lines of communication are the key to successful parenting.
Based on Kent's tip, police showed up at the volunteer's home for questioning. Unaware that a Big Bag of Drugs had recently manifested itself in her car, she consented to a search of her vehicle and house.
KABC News reported that the woman was detained for two hours but not arrested.
"She was shocked. She had no idea where those items came from," said Irvine Police Lt. Julia Engen. "Things just didn't seem to add up."
Eventually, police traced the drugs back to those two bad eggs, the Easters.
Jill and Kent, who are astonishingly terrible at committing crimes for people who earn their livings as attorneys, are both charged with three felonies, and could face up to three years in prison if convicted.
But the real crime here is that it's not possible in this country to have someone arrested for failing to volunteer in a manner satisfactory to you.