On last night's Dance Moms, 21st century carnival barker/dance instructor Abby Lee Miller had her student Maddie perform "an old routine that was undefeated, that was absolutely beautiful": Helen Keller. Seriously, she had a child gracefully flit around the stage and do an aerial over a doll while working in some wild flailing and scrambling a la Keller via Patty Duke. This is interpretive dance at its least sensory.

This show is so naked in its goal to provoke, it can't be long before Abby Lee Miller has these kids dressing as porno trolls.