I think we all know that a wedding is meant to be a bride's special day in the limelight. But there are certain lines of bridal self-aggrandizement you don't cross, and singing Christina Aguilera's "The Right Man" while walking down the aisle crosses that line and then stabs that line in the face with an ice pick. I mean, JESUS. Watch the video in its entirety and you'll feel as awkward as every single guest sitting in the pews. I got two minutes in and nearly shit myself, I felt so mortified. WHY NOT HAVE EIGHT SHIRTLESS GAY MEN CARRY YOU DOWN THE AISLE IN A FUCKING LITTER, LADY? If your goal was to turn your wedding viral without any regard for good taste, congrats. You succeeded. At least you were on key. Look at that poor groom. He looks like he just got hit by a fucking steamroller. I want to kidnap him and feed him Doritos and beer and tell him everything will be okay. If she sings this much during the actual ceremony, God forbid how much singing she does during the reception.
For you aspiring brides out there, here are a few more things you probably should avoid doing while coming down the aisle:
• House yourself in a giant egg
• Strip down to nipple tassels
• Rappel down from the cathedral ceiling
• Perform a spoken word narration of all your thoughts and feelings
• Wear a wedding dress that has your own face adorning the train
Just walk. Walking is enough. Don't sing. It's a wedding, not a fucking audition.