The Flatulence Deodorizer is Here to Back Up Your Claim that Your Farts Don't Stink

Sold under the brand name "Flat-D," the Flatulence Deoderizer is a disposable charcoal underpad that's placed against the wearer's buttocks to help eliminate "fear and embarrassment when in public."

In other words, if you aren't afraid of embarrassing yourself by ripping a wet one in public, these odor eaters are not for you.

According to the product description, the Flatulence Deodorizer works as a "flatulence filter" that "absorbs the gas odor normally associated with the gassy discharge or flatus." They are meant to be discarded after use, but no word on how many SBDs and LBHs this sucker can take before it needs to changed.

You could purchase a pack from a staid purveyor of medical supplies, or you could buy your butt pads from a highly animated eBay seller who puts some prose into his promo:

AND HERE COMES GRANDMA! YOO HOO!, GRANDMAS HERE! EVERYBODY LOVES GRANDMA AND NOTHING WILL HAVE YOU BUILD UP A HEAD OF STEAM AND TEST YOUR PUCKER STRINGS LIMITS LIKE GRANDMAS (BEEN SITTIN OUT FOR 2 DAYS AND IN A HOT CAR TRUNK FOR 3 HOURS) DEVILED EGGS! GUARANTEED TO HAVE YOU KNOCK A POP CAN OFF A RAIL AT 50 FEET! NOTHING WILL FIRE UP THE OLD AFTERBURNER LIKE SWEET GRANDMAS EGGS! COUPLE THOSE BABIES WITH BEER, FOODS AND TASTE LIKE CRAP WARM PUNCH ALONG WITH HEAT AND HIGH HUMIDITY AND YOU HAVE A RECIPE FOR A RIPSNORTER OF A FART THAT JUST WON'T GIVE UP AND LINGER FOR HOURS!

BE PREPARED, BE COURTEOUS, FART PAD! BUY NOW!!!!!!!

You can't argue with that. (I mean, you can, but the all-caps and liberal use of exclamation points suggest you shouldn't.)

[Laughing Squid via Blame It On The Voices, photo via Colonial Medical]