Please join us for a discussion on Tenga Eggs, a promotional sex egg, as we discuss their durability, bangability, and likeness to actual human vaginas.
Max R.: who wouldn't put his penis inside that
A.J. D. : Hmm.
I mean, we were sent a bunch of them.
A.J. D.: So, I don't think it's a bad thing to, you know, BE CURIOUS.
John C.: "Insert your penis and move it up and down"
Adrian C.: it's basically like hipster fleshlight
Hamilton N.: it should kill you if your heart is not pure
Max R.: super sexy
just some sexy, sexy stuff
John C.: we are all doomed
Max R.: "put your wang inside this prometheus production design cast-off"
A.J. D.: Anyway, I blasted right through that egg.
Adrian C.: it's like an Iron Maiden for your penis
A.J. D.: They didn't give very specific directions on how to use it.
John C.: Did you get a blogger promo egg too aj?
A.J. D.: I received several.
Poor RJ came home to me locked in my room, trying to bang the egg.
Not a great moment.
Rich J.: Oh, but it was.
A.J. D.: Yeah, but I broke it.
So I had to use the other one.
John C.: we should really move this discussion to kinja
A.J. D.: The next day my room looked like I had the saddest one-man orgy ever.
Rich J.: They're supposedly for one-time use only.
Max R.: how did you mess up your whole room fucking two eggs
A.J. D.: Just a bunch of plastic shells and baby egg-shaped jellyfish all over the floor.
BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALL THIS LUBE AND SHIT INSIDE THEM.
So everything that was on my floor before became covered in it.
A.J. D.: Like, you know, did you ever see a sock stuck to the floor by lube?
That poor sock was collateral damage.
Oh, plus they sent a couple of those sleeve-things, too.
So they were strewn about as well.
John C.: So will you be hosting a Kinja-scution on Tenga products on Gawker?
A.J. D.: It's a series.
"Pride and Shame"
Just about me fucking plastic eggs.
Hamilton N.: what's the pride part
A.J. D.: I BROKE IT
Hamilton N.: aha
A.J. D.: Yeah. High-fived myself.
John C.: with your free hand?
A.J. D.: Nope.
Adrian C.: it would be better just to fuck a regular egg
Max R.: just noticing that not a single one of gawker.com's female employees has chosen to weigh in on this conversation
Adrian C.: soft-boiled
Max R.: (sexists)
Emma C.: just... observing....
A.J. D.: Like an ostrich egg?
John C.: on the phone with lawyers
A.J. D.: Actually, might be a good Gizmodo test kitchen segment.
Soft-boiled vs. Tenga egg.
Emma C.: Gizbrodo.
Max R.: Jizzmodo
John C.: just joe brown and sam biddle shot from the waist up
Adrian C.: oh god I just saw a picture on google image search of a guy using one
Max R.: These Photos Of Sex Toys Will Blow Your Mind And Your Wad
Adrian C.: humanity is doomed.
A.J. D.: Anyway, cut/paste/publishing.
Please weigh in on what it is like to fuck an egg, promotional or otherwise, below.