PR Dummies: 'Start Using Social Media!'S

The public relations industry often interprets its job as being that of a great sprinkler, spewing forth lightly treated sewage across the media's lawn, hoping to convince something to grow. This is PR Dummies. Dodging the incoming effluent, every week.

Online PR specialists who target internet companies must be incredibly savvy, because they must convince companies that they, the PR person, are so smart that they can do for the company what it cannot do for itself. With that said, I'd like to introduce the lucky recipient of our latest one million dollar PR stuff contract.

Social media: Learn Why the Future of http://gawker.com/ Depends upon it.

From: [PR Dummy]
To: Tips@Gawker.com

Greetings,

I took a minute to look into http://gawker.com/. You have a great website but I noticed you are a falling behind your competition on Facebook with 192,685 Likes and also on Twitter with 186806 Followers.

Are you ready to capture a loyal following that will elevate your company to the next level? Are you tired of wasting money and being let down with old-school marketing techniques? Start using social media!

Hmmm. Not something we've considered, but...

FanAnimal.com brings thousands of targeted fans to your purpose! Fans that actually absorb the material you post. Fans that will share you with their friends, and fans that will convert into sales. These are real people interested in your business or artistry. Every single time you post on your wall or feed, it will show up on their page day after day, post after post! We have worked with major record labels, Fortune 500 companies, actors, bands, and numerous small businesses and have never been asked for a refund.

Now you can choose to embarrass the competition by purchasing a huge following.

Someone would certainly be embarrassed.

Since 2008 we have been:

-Providing over 50,000,000 Facebook Likes and Twitter Followers
-Making our clients instantly credible, desired, and trustworthy
-Boosting our clients sales
-Generating leads
-Helping spread the word about important causes
-Providing unique solutions

We are no longer contractually obligated to stay "underground". We are now able to sell to any client and we promise to always keep our work with you 100% confidential. We are a United States Veteran owned and operated business that is proud to do our part in helping the growth of businesses everywhere we can.

[PR Dummy]

Any company no longer contractually obligated to stay "underground" is a company that we want to work with. Please—tell us more.

[Send your own PR Dummies submissions here.]