Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. Is Probably in Rehab Right NowS

Jesse Jackson's talentless son Junior has just enough talent—none!—to be a congressman based exclusively on who his daddy is. And pursuant to the grand tradition of congressional scions, he seems to have disappeared on a bender and ended up in detox.

Jackson went missing last week, and his staff attributed the vanishing act to "exhaustion." In any context other than Congress, that code word would be sufficient to get the point across that "our congressman is drunk and we don't know where he is." But it's a week later, and people were still asking where their representative is, so his office made it as clear as they could in a press release yesterday:

Recently, we have been made aware that he has grappled with certain physical and emotional ailments privately for a long period of time. At present, he is undergoing further evaluation and treatment at an in-patient medical facility. According to the preliminary diagnosis from his doctors, Congressman Jackson will need to receive extended in-patient treatment as well as continuing medical treatment thereafter. We ask that you keep Congressman Jackson and his family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult period.

Chicago's political class reads that as: Rehab. Or maybe shingles?

[Image via Getty]