On Monday, as Angelenos trudged into week two of their gloomy, foie gras-less "existence," 700 geese from the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge in New York were rounded up for Killing Time.
The New York Post reports that the birds were ordered euthanized to reduce the number of collisions between geese and passenger jets leaving from nearby airports, which often necessitate emergency landings. The rates of "bird strikes" at JFK and La Guardia jumped 53 and 28 percent respectively between 2009 and 2011.
Since these birds are obviously so desperate to go on a fucking trip, the US Department of Agriculture and the National Parks Service teamed up to send them to scenic upstate New York, where they will have a gas touring a poultry plant. And by that I mean, they will be gassed touring a poultry plant.
The Post reports that the birds were gathered by kayak and on land. Because the geese are in the midst of their molting season, they were unable to fly away from their captors/travel agents.
Carol Bannerman, a spokeswoman for the USDA stated that the goose meat will be distributed to food pantries, just like in a Victorian Christmas story.
[NY Post // Image via AP]