Try Not to Think About Your Nubile Teenage Daughter Reading Kinky Sex Books in Bed

Your teenage daughter—how much do you really know about her? You know that she likes church, and playing with dolls, and going to the ice cream shoppe. But did you know that she wants to be tied up and sexually dominated by a dark brooding stranger? Well, she does. Sorry.

The conclusion that your virginal(???) high school-aged little angel harbors dark and dirty dreams of pain-fueled orgiastic pleasure is unavoidable when you consider this blockbuster NY Post investigation today that asks you: did you know your alleged so-called sweet little angel was reading THIS?

Fifteen-year-old Jessie loves Zumba, biology and classic Disney movies such as "Beauty and the Beast" - but lately, her favorite activity has been reading. While she spent her school year slogging through classics like "Ethan Frome" and "The Tempest," you won't find Jessie's favorite book on her 10th-grade-English summer reading list. That's because she's been reading the kinky sex trilogy "Fifty Shades of Grey" - "during school, out tanning, in bed [ed.: !!!!], everywhere," she says - on her Nook e-reader.

As a bastion of family values, the New York Post requests that whatever you do, you do not visualize the blossoming young "girl next door" curled up in her skimpy nightclothes, eagerly perusing a kinky sex book, her thoughts turning to.... who knows what. Not... not Jessie. She would never. Not daddy's little girl.

The fact that semiliterate sexually inexperienced children are fans of Fifty Shades of Grey actually makes perfect sense.

[NYP. Photo: Shutterstock]